Allie Speaks

2011-11-22T19:32:00.001-08:00

I’ve recently come to the conclusion that my addiction to traveling has consumed my life. It goes without saying that the travel bug has bitten me: bad. I dream about the places I will go, the sights I will see and the cultures that I know will have a profound impact on my life. My current wallet, for instance, has a world map printed on it; I carry a map around with me everywhere I go. Traveling: it’s all I can think about. I mean, as I write this I’m currently in an airport, surrounded by grumpy old men and in a chair with zero comfort appeal, in Colorado. It’s a Thursday. I should be in an English class, but an opportunity presented itself and I jumped for it. I officially am willing to pounce on any opportunity to explore a new time zone, no matter where in the world it is.

That being said, the second I heard that Channel Islands was offering an international travel course to South Africa, there was not a doubt in my mind that I was going to apply. The class would require the students to learn all about South Africa for the fall semester, and then right after New Year’s, we’d all make the journey to the country together. We would go to Cape Town and Johannesburg, to Robben Island (where Mandela was held prisoner for the majority of his life) and on safari. To go to South Africa, the home of Nelson Mandela and Steven Biko, has been a dream of mine since I was 14. Ever since I could understand the incredible change that the people of the country were able to bring to it, I’ve wanted to go. Just sitting here now thinking about it gives me goose bumps.

The course was introduced as a part of this year’s curriculum last spring. The only problem was that in order to go required being accepted into the class. Only 15 students would be given the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of taking this course. Fifteen. 1-5. No pressure. After filling out the application (and having my dad review all of my answers…twice), I sent it in with fingers crossed, hoping that I’d be one of the lucky handful that got selected to attend.

I found out about my acceptance into the program on Easter Sunday. I got the email on my phone, and after shrieking very loudly, I spent the rest of the time running around my boyfriend’s house like a chicken with my head cut off talking about Africa with anyone who was willing to listen to me. This was happening. I was going. I would finally be in South Africa, my dream, the country on the top of my list.

Before that would happen, however, I had some other traveling to do. I spent a good chunk of this last summer in Pau, France, a small town in the south, where I studied French with other students from all over the world. I was terrified before I left; the jitters had taken over and wouldn’t release me. But I kept thinking of something someone once told me: that the things we do that scare us, always wind turn out being the most worthwhile. While I was there, I spent my time practicing my atrocious French accent, drinking too much wine from Bordeaux, taking over 6000 pictures and sitting on trains to other parts of the country. I met the most incredible people and created the most extraordinary memories.

Sometimes, I like to just close my eyes and remember it all. I like to think about my little apartment, with the horrible yellow wallpaper. I like to think of the long walks to and from class (usually in the pouring rain), the PB&J sandwiches I would make when I didn’t want to spend the money on something more appealing, the French boy who wouldn’t stop professing his love for me and the bus rides to and from town. I daydream about the hours we spent late into the night at nightclubs and karaoke bars where we tried our best to make friends with the locals.

To say my experience in France this past summer changed my life is putting it lightly. I am a different person. Being abroad in that setting, with students of different cultures, completely redefined the way I look at everything. People are different; words have more meaning. Living in France put magic into my life. It made me open my eyes, for what felt like the first time. My little travel bug was growing, and so was I. Getting lost around the world was the first thing that really helped me to find myself. Not a day passes where France doesn’t cross my mind. It’s a part of me, and it will be for the rest of my life.

And now it’s here. South Africa, a country I have longed to visit and that I hold a deep respect for, is now just around the corner; only a month away. My experience in France has opened my eyes to the possibilities that this world has to offer; it has shown me the extraordinary beauty that each country possesses. The preparations for Africa have been made and my passport sits eagerly on my bedside table. I have appointments for shots and malaria pills (yikes!) and I’m already brainstorming ways to make the 30+ hour journey to Africa a more bearable experience (I’m thinking a variety of romance novels will do the trick…) I think about Africa everyday, about the inevitable change that I know it will have on me, the same way my experiences in France did.

Am I nervous? Very. But the fear in the unknown is always worth it. Sometimes you just have to put your faith, your hope, in something greater than yourself. So in this instance, I’ll rely on my little travel bug, my little companion that comes with me whenever I’m crossing the ocean to some unknown, extraordinary place.

2011-10-17T17:59:00.001-07:00

2011-10-13T00:59:00.001-07:00

Assigned Jane Eyre. Read Jane Eyre. LOVED Jane Eyre.

It's officially all I can think about.

Well, that, and the fact that I turn 21 in less than 24 hours.

2011-09-18T22:57:00.001-07:00

2011-09-18T19:04:00.000-07:00

I'm the most indecisive person on the planet. Seriously. It can take me days to make a decision about something, just because once I have options, I have to weigh everything against each other.

That being said, I think I've come to a decision today. I want to dedicate more time to school and to the people I love and because of this, I may have to take some things off my plate.

It makes me sad, since it's something that I've loved doing, but I think it'll be the best for me at this point in time.

Now it's just a matter of telling the right people and saying good-bye.

2011-09-13T14:13:00.000-07:00

All I want to do is travel. It's all I can think about...it's all I dream about. I fantasize about being back in Pau, walking along the Boulevard de Pyrenees with a cup of gelato in my hand. I close my eyes and can picture the purple mountains; I can still feel the moisture on my face from the rain that just fell minutes earlier. Sometimes, I'll rub my hands together and it brings me back to a night when we were all walking back to our rooms. I remember looking up at the shutters and taking in the beauty of the stars that freckled the sky. My heart exists in the air, in the sky, in terminals that will take me across the world. I'm not meant to sit still anymore.

Sometimes I get this feeling that I'm moving too fast. Like, my heart and my soul are on fast forward and everything else is just sitting still. I need to GO, need to move, need to fly, need to explore.

I guess I'm feeling all nostalgic because I just looked through my friend's picture of Paris and it made me realize that I literally had THE time of my life this summer. Every summer from here on out will be compared to the 40+ days I spent in France. I think about the girls, the walks, the food, the geeks...every single day. I was truly happy...and now I'm desperate to get that back.

2011-08-30T15:43:00.000-07:00

Snapped on my way to school this morning..

It's funny. I was walking around campus and realized that school is a happy place for me. If you had told me that three years ago, I would've laughed in your face.

I like how things change.

2011-08-28T11:01:00.000-07:00

I had to call out sick from work today. I've been working so much lately, both at Marciano and at school, and this morning I woke up with an asthma attack and an achey body.

School starts tomorrow. It's strange how fast this summer flew by. It was by far the greatest one I've ever experienced, filled with new friends and lots of hours at the airport. Tomorrow, the freedom of being able to pick up and leave ends and I couldn't be more sad about it.

Kate and Trevor both left for school this weekend. My family left me home alone to drive her back up and then yesterday I drove with Trevor and his family to move him back into his apartment in Orange County.

I always hate this time of year.

2011-08-23T13:45:00.001-07:00

2011-07-22T00:46:00.001-07:00

2011-07-16T19:04:00.001-07:00

New obsession??

Gel manicures.

2011-07-15T11:19:00.001-07:00

I miss France so much it hurts sometimes.

2011-07-13T22:20:00.001-07:00

2011-07-08T22:09:00.000-07:00

Hello! Hello!!

I'm not dead. Just back in America.

But I can't seem to sit still.

LOTS of traveling the next two months. And then possibly some more in October.

And then SOUTH AFRICA in January.

You know those moments when you want to sit back and pinch yourself...just to make sure it's all really happening?

I've got to stop pinching myself.

2011-06-21T05:13:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to memorize everything about this place. Last night, as we walked home from downtown, I looked up into the night sky and tried to take a mental photograph of the way the stars looked. I examined the shutters that frame every windowsill you can see, and admired the fact that the sight will never grow old to me. I rubbed my hands together in an attempt to remember how they felt in that moment. I looked around at the people that surrounded me and wanted desperately to remember the happiness that I felt in my heart forever.

It's funny how Pau, a little city that I had never heard of before, has developed into a place that holds so many memories for me. We sat at a little terrace last night and the courtyard was glowing in a way that I can't possibly describe. The weather was perfect and the conversation flowed and in that instant, I realized that leaving here is going to be more painful than I ever thought. Saying good-bye to the incredible people I have come to love and to the little home that we've made through our friendships with each other is something that I'm not exactly looking forward to.

Yes, I'm excited to return home to California. There are many things I miss, but right now, I just want to put life in Pau on pause so I can continue living this life that doesn't feel real. Living in Pau this past month has felt like a dream, something that I've thought about, but something that I never thought would be able to become reality. To have to say good-bye to something so wonderful is just too hard of a thought to have to bear.

I'm just going to keep repeating a quote over and over again in my head: "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying good-bye so hard." This experience has been one of a lifetime and I will treasure every second of my time here for the rest of my life.

Two days until Paris!

2011-06-19T04:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day to the best dad a girl could ask for.

Wishing I was home to celebrate.

2011-06-17T14:16:00.000-07:00

I'm SO behind on the posting of the days!

Last Sunday we went to Lourdes, which is one of the holiest cities in the world, and as soon as I got back to Pau I wound up getting sick. I've been slowly recovering for the majority of the week, sleeping ALL THE TIME.

Anyways, tomorrow I'm going to the mountains...so I'll be sure to take a lot of pictures and I'll actually make an attempt at a blog post...PROMISE!

PARIS IN SIX DAYS.

Wooooooo!

2011-06-11T23:24:00.001-07:00

Bought myself one of these today.

I've seen one on the arm of the majority of French girls in Pau. I guess they're all the rage?

It came down between red and gray and as with most things, red won out.

(Red always wins.)

Does anyone else have one?

2011-06-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

Monday, June 6th: Class started early on Monday, 8am, so we all had to be up even earlier than that. Class was crazy difficult because I was so exhausted. For some reason, everything hit me at once. All the running around and hardly taking a break...and I was so close to crashing in class. Afterwards, I excused myself from an expedition to a market downtown and opted to hang out in my room, determined to finish a book. Of course, I got distracted by Facebook and I eventually wound up falling asleep for a good four hours.
After I woke up, Jen messaged me on Facebook telling me that she was going to get Kebobs with the neighbors and that I was invited. We wound up waiting outside the restaurant for our food, under a canopy, as it rained like crazy. We ran with our food back to the car and went back to Marius' room to eat (Kebobs are SO yummy!) We all wound up talking until it was time to head back upstairs and off to bed. I was surprised at how easily I was able to fall asleep...even despite the lengthy nap I had taken!

Tuesday, June 7th: After class, I went with Mel, Carlee and Jen to the cafeteria where we wound up sitting and laughing for a long time. We had a major "Speak of the Devil" moment which made us laugh even more...giving people a good reason to believe that Americans are crazy.
After lunch, we headed back to Jen's room to study and eventually Mel started to do some Zumba and I jumped in for a few songs (so much fun!) Eventually, we finished up and Jen started craving a cheeseburger, so we made plans with the neighbors to walk over to McDonald's. We all got our burgers, ate there and then walked home, where we hung out with the neighbors for a little while. I had a Skype date with Trevor, so I excused myself and went up to my room.

2011-06-07T05:16:00.001-07:00

2011-06-06T09:21:00.000-07:00

Friday, June 3rd: Because there was no class on Thursday, we had two extra hours of classes on Friday. We were given an hour for lunch, during which we ran over to a nearby cafeteria and ate too much (what else is new). After class, Jen, Taylor, Katelyn and I headed downtown to research train tickets to Toulouse and then did some shopping.
Jen made a belated birthday dinner for Tatiana and Vanessa, so Taylor and I joined and we spent the evening talking and booking tickets and hostels to Toulouse. We discovered that the rugby final was taking place on Saturday, and that if they won, the city would go crazy. Naturally, this made us even more excited about our decision to go to Toulouse over the weekend. Mel came over to spend the night at Jen's and we all went to bed, ready for our early train out of Pau.

Saturday, June 4th: Our train for Toulouse left the station at 8:10 in the morning, so we were all up and ready to go by 6:45. We hopped on the bus and took it all the way down to the train station, where we got our tickets and grabbed a quick breakfast aka the greatest croissants of all time.
After a two hour train ride, we finally pulled into the Toulouse station and took a cab to our hostel/hotel. Somehow, for fourteen euros a person, we managed to get two rooms with two double beds, so it worked out perfectly.
After a very interesting exchange with the hostel manager (lots of giggling, on his part) we hopped on a tram and then a metro and made our way into the center of Toulouse. We went straight over to a restaurant that our French teacher had recommended and waited in line for God only knows how long. It was all worth it though; the restaurant had easily the BEST fries I think I've had. Not to mention, Jen ordered a bottle of red wine and it was delicious as well!
After lunch, we began exploring Toulouse, walking the streets, visiting the oldest church in France, and shopping! We even crashed a wedding. We wound up killing as much time as we could, since the rugby match didn't start until 9pm.
When we finally made it back to the center square of the town, we were shocked by the number of people that had come out to watch the match. Thousands of people, all sitting in the square, looking up a huge monitor that would be playing the match for everyone. We wound up drinking beer and meeting the people around us and just having a good time.
After the match (TOULOUSE WON!), Jen, Taylor and I wound up hanging out with David and Anthony, two of the guys we met during the match. We went to the side of the river, along with hundreds of other people, and just sat there in the middle of the night, looking at the lights from bridges and talking about French and American politics. Afterwards, we all went to a bar and hung out with them for a little while longer before we headed out.
Getting a cab back to the hostel is a whole different story altogether, involving us finding safety in a hotel lobby and very nice people trying to help us as best as they could. However, due to the rugby match, we were told that the cab couldn't get into the center of the square, so we risked it and went out looking for a cab. Luckily for us, we found one within five minutes of leaving the hotel.

Sunday, June 5th: We woke up and checked out of the hotel. We took the tram and the metro one more time, back into the center of Toulouse. A group of us wound up walking around and exploring different markets that were set up for Sunday morning.
We eventually got breakfast (crepes, croissants and coffee!) and then headed back to the train, were we settled in for another two hour ride back to Pau.
Upon getting back to my room, I uploaded pictures (there were seriously like 800). Taylor, Jen and I wound up having Leftover Quesadillas in Jen's room, where we did homework and talked and lurked each other's Facebooks.

Today, Monday, I had class and then came back to my room directly after, where I crashed for about four hours. I'm not normally a fan of naps, but this one was so good!
I'm about to head over to Jen's to study for a French test we have on Wednesday, and then we're going out with Marius (and who knows who else) to grab some Kebobs for dinner (they're really popular here!)

I'll post more later!

Au revoir!

2011-06-06T08:59:00.001-07:00

"In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make."

2011-06-02T04:42:00.000-07:00

5/31, Tuesday: May 31st was the 21rst birthday of a girl in our class, Tatiana, so our teacher wound up baking a few cakes for everyone! It was so fun to be able to celebrate with her and the fact that our teacher just went above and beyond to make the day special for her made us all feel very blessed.
After class, I ran over to grab something to eat from the cafeteria and then headed downtown to meet up with a French girl, Julie, who I met at a USAC mixer. We had fun walking around downtown (she knows all the good places to shop) and she introduced me to two of her friends, Pascal and Lucie. The four of us sat at at sidewalk cafe and somehow were able to communicate. I had a cappuccino with whipped cream (yummmm)!
I headed back home where I changed my shoes and then a group of us headed out downtown again to celebrate with Tatiana. We all went to a Hookah bar where we had some drinks and the bartender gave us a free round of Hookah (which was kind of pointless considering that there was only one girl who was even smoking it). After we paid for our drinks, he told us about a Moroccan restaurant and called and made us some reservations. We ran over there and sat in a really cool area. We ate and talked until it was time for us to head out; we had to make sure that we caught the bus in time to get back.
Afterwards, I was able to talk to Trevor on Skype and then I attempted to book my flight for Chicago in July (sheesh).

6/1, Wednesday: Class was nearly impossible because I went to bed so late (damn travel arrangements). I was practically falling asleep in class so I had to go to the coffee machine and get a pick me up. After class, we went back to the dorms and Jennifer and Mel did some Zumba in Jen's room while I watched and ate leftover pasta. We wound up being 30 minutes late to our second class because we thought it started at 2:30, when it really started at 2.
After what seemed to be a VERY long class, we went over to McDonald's to get coffee and were pleased to discover that their coffee bar is a very good Starbucks substitute. After McDo, we went over the a book store to pick up some French/English pocket dictionaries (figured it was time to finally own one), and then a few of us went shopping. I wound up getting a dress and a pair of sandals.
There was no school on Thursday, so we decided to go out with some of the French friends we met in the dorms. We went to their room first, where we had a little party, and then we walked over to a karaoke bar a few minutes away from where we live. We spent a while singing and dancing (there was a very good moment where everyone, French and American, was singing along with the Spice Girls at the top of their lungs). It was Liliana' 22nd birthday, and our friend Marius somehow managed to get the entire bar to sing for her, complete with music tracks.
After karaoke, we all hopped into two cars (not too easy considering that there were a lot of us and European cars are pretttttty small) and headed over a nightclub that is kind of close by. We spent the rest of the night dancing and I didn't end up going to sleep until after 4am.

Today, Thursday, we have no school (good thing, considering I woke up at noon), and now I'm going to the store with Jen and Taylor. Everything is pretty much closed today, which makes it kind of difficult to do anything...but we'll make it work.

I'll post more later!

:)

2011-05-30T10:32:00.000-07:00

We got caught in an epic rainstorm today. A group of us went caught a showing of The Hangover 2 (in ENGLISH!) and then decided to do some shopping afterwards. Of course, as we were walking into the store it was bright and sunny and then we look outside a little while later and it's pouring. I had to buy a cheap umbrella to protect me on the long trek home. My shoes are currently drying next to the heater, as they were squealching the whole way home. I'm a hot mess right now, let me tell you.

So the movie theater was an interesting experience. We were able to find it pretty easily, using a map to guide us in the right direction. A ticket is only €5.70, which isn't too bad considering a ticket back home is typically $11.50.
However, as we walked into the theater, we saw a group of guys sitting in the back, obviously several years younger than all of us. They started cat calling and yelling cuss words at us, in an attempt to get our attention. Many of us were able to ignore them, but eventually one of us said something. Did it work and make them shut up? Of course not.
Eventually, they decided to move down to the row behind us. We moved up farther in the theater. Once the trailers came on, they started throwing candy at us (thank god it didn't hit anyone). A little bit after the movie started, they came even CLOSER and sat down in the same row, one guy even going so far as to touch a girl named Mel (she slapped him across the face).
A few of the people in our group got up and left, and the rest of us just got up and moved again, to the corner of the theater. After that, they backed off and left the movie shortly after.
It's just shocking to me that no one in the theater (it was pretty crowded) made an effort to say something to one of these guys who were obviously sexually harassing us. Instead, they just sat there and literally ignored everything that was happening in front of them. Back home, someone would have gotten up to step in the middle and to make the boys shut up. That, or we would've been able to get up and tell security. Now we really understand what everyone means when they say that guys here can be persistent. We're still planning on going back to the theater though. It's such an easy way to spend the afternoon, and now we're even more exciting knowing that we know that we can understand some of the movies that they play.

I was able to talk to Trevor on Skype today...the first time since I've been in France. It was so nice being able to hear his voice; see his face. Now if only I can get ahold of my parents!
My dreams here have been all about home lately (or some variation of it). The other night, I dreamt that I went home for the day, and then flew all the way back to Pau. Yesterday's dream was a bit more dramatic: I was on my way home and my plane crashed. I survived, but then realized that I was in some sort of alternate universe a la LOST...and then became a backup dancer for Lady Gaga. Anyone know how to analyze dreams?

Quick recap on the past few days :::

Thursday: Woke up late and ran to class. After class and after a quick lunch in my dorm, I headed over to the first session of my French Culture and Civilization class. After almost falling asleep, I headed back to my apartment where I quickly changed and then a group of us headed downtown to get some dinner. We wound up at this little pasta place where we literally had pasta in a cup (SO GOOD). After I got back to my apartment, Jen and Marius came knocking on my door inviting me to a party downstairs (apparently Thursdays here are the big night for fiestas). I went downstairs and Taylor and I wound up drinking too much, and we all went to bed too late. It was a good night, though.

Favorite moment: when I told one of the guys at the party that my favorite song is "The Wind Cries Mary" by Jimi Hendrix and he started playing it really loudly in this tiny apartment for me. It all felt so right and the people were all so great, even though we really couldn't understand everything we were all saying to each other.

Friday: Jen woke me up by ringing my doorbell for a good thirty seconds. Then her, Taylor and I all walked to class together. Jen, Mel, Carlee and I had fun admiring a cute French couple outside our window and even got Vuokko, our professor, to admire them as well. Afterwards, I went back to my apartment and took a nap. Mel came over and then we went downstairs and hung out with Carlee and Jen and finally I went upstairs to get ready to go out. We wound up missing our bus and had to wait at the bus stop for forty minutes, meeting a group of guys who decided to stop and "talk" with us while we waited. We finally made it onto a bus and went downtown, hitting up a place called Le Garage. We had thought it was going to be some sort of club, but it was just a pub. Mel and I wound up getting free Long Island Iced Teas. After drinks, we went to a Kabob place since we hadn't eaten, and then eventually wound up being chased by a little toothless old man in a leather jacket. We met a British guy named William who wound up finding us a cab and helping us find our way back home.

Saturday: We had a field trip to Bayonne and then to Biarritz, both beautiful cities closer to the South of France. Bayonne is officially one of my new favorite places in the world and Biarritz is one of the greatest places to get a tan, hands down.

Sunday: I was FINALLY able to sleep in took advantage of this, sleeping until 10am. It was a great lazy day and I spent the morning emailing and just surfing the internet. Carlee came over to my room around lunchtime and we headed down to Jen's room, where she made a delicious lunch for us. Then it was more lazing about and then Carlee and I finally got out of the apartment complex in search of wine and cheese. We went to two different grocery stores (both closed) and finally bought paninis and a few bottles of wine at a bakery down the street (the baker thought I was an alcoholic...) We wound up just hanging out in Jen's room, soon joined by Taylor and then Andrew: drinking wine, talking and doing homework. The perfect lazy day, if you ask me!

I promise I'll try and be better at posting more frequently!

2011-05-29T06:26:00.000-07:00

2011-05-28T12:41:00.001-07:00

Today, while walking down some cobbled streets in Bayonne and listening to a group of French people play music outside of a cafe, it dawned on me that I could stay in France forever and I'd be the happiest girl in the world.

2011-05-25T16:37:00.000-07:00

This place is amazing. Fantastic. Beyond everything that I ever could have expected. Time has almost stopped, which is an interesting feeling. I almost feel like I've been here my whole life, walking the streets of Pau, with the same people that I've only known for two days.

Each day takes its time, kind of like France itself. I always seem to come back forgetting that the French enjoy their leisure time.

It doesn't even feel like school when I'm in school. Our professor's name is Vuokko and she's a cute older French woman who seems to be very amused by those of us in her French 1 class. There are only 9 of us, so it's small, and we tend to ask way too many questions about things she didn't expect to have to teach us. I took three years of Spanish which is throwing me off a little bit, since I keep trying to roll my r's, which is the last thing you want to do when speaking French. I had her stop to give us examples of conjugating, just so I knew exactly how she did what she was doing. I'm finding that if I listen really closely though, I'm pretty capable of finding out what she's telling us. She even told us today that she's things we're really advancing already.

After class today, a group of us went and signed up for the weekend excursion to the beach and then headed over to the brand new McDonald's for lunch (it so wasn't cheap). This place was HUGE and the line was so long, so we wound up sitting upstairs (yes, two stories) and had to eat in two separate shifts. Afterwards, I grabbed some more euros from the ATM and we said good-bye to a few girls, and then a group of us headed downtown to hit some stores that we wanted to shop at. (Did I buy? Sadly, yes.) Afterwards, we cooled off by sitting at a sidewalk cafe with a few drinks. I don't think I'll be able to fully get over the fact that it's totally cool to sit down and order a beer without anyone checking for ID. I'm pretty sure all of us under 21 in this program are all just as amused by this.

I rode the bus home with a girl named Carlee and then we headed back to the dorms (sweating the whole way). A group of us wound up making dinner in my apartment, which turned out to be way more difficult than we expected it to be. The stove apparently doesn't get very hot, so it took us about an hour and a half to make some pasta. I guess it will be cereal for dinner from now on! Afterwards, once some of the girls left, Taylor and I hung out at my desk with our laptops. It was a good evening :)

Last night, my lovely friend Jennifer (who is currently sick with food poisoning, poor thing) made friends with some French guys who gave us a password for the WiFi in the building, and apparently we're all going out tomorrow night. We'll be seeing France from the eyes of some real French natives...which is really the only way to do it! C'est la Vie!

Good news of the day: I got to talk to Trevor today...on HeyTell!! Sometimes, the iPhone is so handy it makes me want to jump up and down with excitement.

Bad news of the day: I missed Glee. And American Idol. And I can't watch either of them online. Netflix doesn't work either. Bah humbug.

2011-05-24T03:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in the computer lab of the University as I write this.

The first couple days here have been really good. Everyone is really nice and we've all been getting along really well.

Yesterday, the first official day here, I was THIS CLOSE to oversleeping and missing the mandatory orientation. After they gave us some paperwork and then gave us a quick level test, a few of us were introduced to our professor and then taken to get photos for our IDs. Then several other girls and I did some grocery shopping since it's way cheaper to make/eat your own food instead of buying it from the cafeteria every time. Of course, we didn't realize that we needed to bring our own grocery bags with us (DUH), so we had to buy a big one and carry all of our food back to our apartments (no easy task...)

We all met back up again outside of the main building and then squished onto a bus headed for downtown Pau. It's so beautiful! The view is PHENOMENAL and we had fun after the tour roaming around the main shopping center (I didn't buy anything but an ice cream).

Afterwards, we all headed back to the University, where we went back to the supermarket so that some girls could pick up their international cell phones. We walked back to the dorms, only to walk back again to the supermarket to help some others out with their own grocery shopping. On the way back to the dorms, we stopped and picked up a Jumbo Pizza to share in my room (with a few bottles of wine too ;) )

We spend the evening hanging out and talking; some of us painted our nails. Afterwards, some of the girls in my dorm walked with some girls from another dorm when they went back to their place. We didn't get home until after midnight, and even then I wound up having a lot of trouble sleeping.

Today was officially the first day of classes. I'm in the lowest course, which I thought would be easy, but HAH. The professor is going to speak only in French to try and help us get used to listening to it on a regular basis, but that doesn't really help those of us who have never spoken a word of French in our lives. I'm pretty pleased with how I did though. She told us at the end of the class that she felt we advanced a lot during the 3 hours we were in there.

We have our elective class another day this week. I'll be taking French Culture and Civilization.

This afternoon, we're going back downtown to tour the other half of the city. It's good that they're doing this, since I have a feeling we'll be spending many nights downtown. I'm going to get a bus pass for the month, which costs fifteen euros, and allows me unlimited trips. Handy right? It's just so much more fun to hang out down there instead of in the dorms. However, now I'll have to start focusing on studying French. (Oui, Oui!)

This weekend, we're heading down to the French coast where we get to spend the day on the beach. I'm so ridiculously excited for this little trip...it'll be nice to explore other places in France. We have a three-day weekend in the middle of June and I've been talking about going to London with some of the other girls. Three days? Perfect for a London excursion! I've also got to figure out a good time to head over to Spain. We're only about two hours away from the Spanish border by bus, so this is something that we definitely have to look into.

I'm going to try and buy a wifi password off of someone in the dorms today. I want to finally skype with some people! It's getting way too difficult to try and keep connecting to the wifi in the main building, especially since I don't want to keep lugging my laptop around with me everywhere I go.

Okay, I'm pretty sure that's it for now. I'm excited about posting more about this trip (I mean, it's only Day 2...so much more will happen!)

2011-05-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

Sitting at Newark airport, anxiously awaiting my connecting flight to Paris. I just had a weird burger and some fries, since I haven't eaten since dinner last night (so fascinating, right???)

This morning went pretty smoothly, we wound up leaving the house around 4:30 am and got to the airport with more than plenty of time to spare. My bag wound up weighing in at EXACTLY fifty pounds which means i'll have to get rid of stuff or just pay attention to what I buy while I'm in Europe kind of bummed that this means I won't be able to come home with an entirely new European wardrobe, but I guess this is good for my wallet!!!

I'm so happy I got to see two of my favorite people last night, Justine and Amanda. It was so nice being able to say good bye to two of the people I know I'll be missing while I'm gone. I wish I could've seen some oths before I left, but it is what it is.

I've got a little bit over a five hour layover in Paris so I'll try and find Internet when I get there. Until then, I'll just occupy myself with all the cheesy romance novels stocked up on for this trip!!!

Talk to you in Paris!!!

2011-05-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

TOMORROW.TOMORROW,TOMORROW.

TOMORROW.TOMORROW!

I literally have to keep pinching myself as a reminder that this is really happening. I'm really leaving the house tomorrow at 4am, to hop on a plane to Newark at 7am, to then eventually get over to the Paris airport and then from there, PAU!

I'm freaking out a little about the amount of time it's going to take (8+ hours in sitting in a airport waiting for connecting flights, 14+ hours of sitting on a plane). Hopefully, I'll be able to find some electrical sources while I'm at these airports so I can charge my (most likely dead) iPhone, computer and iPad.

My dad set me up with an international calling plan, so I can receive texts from people in the US, FOR FREE. So if you have my number, a little "hello" message while I'm there will totally make my day, as really the only part I'm stressing over about leaving is the not being around friends/family/loved ones for so long. SO SEND ME LOVE, PEOPLE.

Things I have to do still:

-Finish packing (EEEEEK!)

-Pick up paycheck (crossing my fingers my vacation hours are on there)

-Buy Birthday present for Trevor and leave it at his house

-Possibly get over to the real Goodwill with my grandma one more time

-Raid Gabby's closet for a few simple dresses

-Get over to the local Goodwill bookstore and pick up some paperbacks I wouldn't mind leaving in random places (I guess it'll be my version of "pay it forward")

-Go to Target and roam the aisles for necessities I may be needing (inspiration will hit when I see the products, no doubt)

Here we go!

Keep checking out this blog. Like I said, it's going to be my "travel journal" of sorts and it is where I hope to talk about everything that is going on in the Land of Pau. But beware, I may eventually (hopefully) start writing in French. You know, cause that's the whole reason I'm there and everything...

Bon Voyage!

2011-05-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

So I'm going to try and juggle this blog AND Sparkles while I'm in Europe.

My goal is to use this blog as essentially a travel journal, and that one to document whatever outfits I manage to come up, using one bag of clothes for 40+ days.

So please, please, please keep checking back for updates from my six weeks abroad!

Itinerary:

5.21-6.23: Pau, France

and Spain is a possibility on the weekends!

6.23-6.28: PARIS, France

Be still my heart.

6.28-7.2: Germany

Mini family reunion here I come!

If anyone knows of any good places to check out while I'm away, please let me know!

Also, I've been getting some request for postcards and I'd love to send some out to some of my lovely readers! If you're interested in getting some snail mail from me, email me your address and I'll be sure to send you a little something.

Countdown:

TWO DAYS.

Holy shit.

2011-05-15T20:11:00.001-07:00

In less than a week, I'll be in France.

I can't believe it's already here!

2011-05-15T12:12:00.001-07:00

2011-05-15T00:32:00.001-07:00

I'm Miss Moorpark 2011!

Not only did I walk away with an amazing scholarship, but I also won Top Interview.

My favorite moment was when I was announced as Miss Congeniality. I adored all the girls so much!!

2011-05-13T09:58:00.001-07:00

2011-05-13T09:57:00.001-07:00

This gave me a good laugh this morning.

2011-05-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

A killer graduation speech.

For all my fellow English majors, and for all other lovers of words.

There’s a line by the Italian writer Carlo Levi that I think is apt here: “The future has an ancient heart.” I love it because it expresses with such grace and economy what is certainly true—that who we become is born of who we most primitively are; that we both know and cannot possibly know what it is we’ve yet to make manifest in our lives. I think it’s a useful sentiment for you to reflect upon now, sweet peas, at this moment when the future likely feels the opposite of ancient, when instead it feels like a Lamborghini that’s pulled up to the curb while every voice around demands you get in and drive.

I’m here to tell you it’s okay to travel by foot. In fact, I recommend it. There is so much ahead that’s worth seeing; so much behind you can’t identify at top speed. Your teacher is correct: You’re going to be all right. And you’re going to be all right not because you majored in English or didn’t and not because you plan to apply to law school or don’t, but because all right is almost always where we eventually land, even if we fuck up entirely along the way.

I know. I fucked up some things. I was an English major too. As it happens, I lied for six years about having an English degree, though I didn’t exactly mean to lie. I had in truth gone to college and participated in a graduation ceremony. I’d walked across the stage and collected a paper baton. On that paper it said a bachelor’s degree would be mine once I finished one final class. It seemed like such an easy thing to do, but it wasn’t. And so I didn’t do it and the years slipped past, each one making it seem more unlikely that I’d ever get my degree. I’d done all the coursework except that one class. I’d gotten good grades. To claim that I had an English degree was truer than not, I told myself. But that didn’t make it true.

You have to do what you have to do. You can’t go to law school if you don’t have any interest in being a lawyer. You can’t take a class if taking a class feels like it’s going to kill you. Faking it never works. If you don’t believe me, read Richard Wright. Read Charlotte Brontë. Read Joy Harjo. Read William Trevor. Read the entire Western canon. Or just close your eyes and remember everything you already know. Let whatever mysterious starlight that guided you this far, guide you onward into whatever crazy beauty awaits. Trust that all you learned during your college years was worth learning, no matter what answer you have or do not have about what use it is. Know that all those stories and poems and plays and novels are a part of you now and that they are bigger than you and they will always be.

I was a waitress during most of the years that I didn’t have my English degree. My mother had been a waitress for many of the years that she was raising my siblings and me. She loved to read. She always wanted to go to college. One time she took a night class when I was very young and my father became enraged with her and cut her textbook into tiny pieces with a pair of scissors. She dropped the class. I think it was Biology.

You don’t have to get a job that makes others feel comfortable about what they perceive as your success. You don’t have to explain what you plan to do with your life. You don’t have to justify your education by demonstrating its financial rewards. You don’t have to maintain an impeccable credit score. Anyone who expects you to do any of those things has no sense of history or economics or science or the arts.

You have to pay your own electric bill. You have to be kind. You have to give it all you got. You have to find people who love you truly and love them back with the same truth.

But that’s all.

I got married when I was in college. I got divorced during the years that I was lying about having an English degree. When I met the man to whom I am now married he said, “You know, I really think you should finish your degree, not because I want you to, but I can tell that you want to.” I thought he was sort of being an asshole. We didn’t bring up the subject again for a year.

I understand what you’re afraid of, sweet peas. I understand what your parents fear. There are practical concerns. One needs money to live. And then there is a deep longing to feel legitimate in the world, to feel that others hold us in regard. I felt intermittently ashamed during my years as a waitress. I’m the only one of my siblings who went to college. I was supposed to be the one who “made it.” At times it seemed instead I had squandered my education and dishonored my dead mother by becoming a waitress like her. Sometimes I would think of this as I went from table to table with my tray and I’d have to think of something else so I wouldn’t cry.

Years after I no longer worked at the last restaurant where I waited tables, my first novel was published. The man who’d been my manager at the restaurant read about me in the newspaper and came to my reading. He’d been a pretty awful boss—in fact, at times I’d despised him—but I was touched to see him in the bookstore that night. “All those years ago, who would have ever guessed we’d be here celebrating the publication of your novel?” he asked when we embraced.

“I would have,” I replied.

And it was true. I always would have guessed it, even all the time that I feared it would never happen. Being there that night was the meaning of my life. Getting there had been my every intention. When I say you don’t have to explain what you’re going to do with your life I’m not suggesting you lounge around whining about how difficult it is. I’m suggesting you apply yourself with some serious motherfuck-i-tude in directions for which we have no accurate measurement. I’m talking about work. And love.

It’s really condescending to tell you how young you are. It’s even inaccurate. Some of you who are graduating from college are not young. Some of you are older than me. But to those of you new college graduates who are indeed young, the old new college graduates will back me up on this: you are so god damned young. Which means about eight of the ten things you have decided about yourself will over time prove to be false. The other two things will prove to be so true that you’ll look back in twenty years and howl.

My mother was young too, but not like those of you who are so god damned young. She was forty when she finally went to college. She spent the last years of her life as a college student, though she didn’t know they were her last years. She thought she was at the beginning of the next era of her life. She died a couple of months before we were both supposed to graduate from different schools. At her memorial service, my mother’s favorite professor stood up and granted her a PhD.

The most terrible and beautiful and interesting things happen in a life. For some of you, those things have already happened. Whatever happens to you belongs to you. Make it yours. Feed it to yourself even if it feels impossible to swallow. Let it nurture you, because it will.

I have learned this over and over and over again.

There came a day when I decided to stop lying. I called the college from which I did not have an English degree and asked the woman who answered the phone what I needed to do to get one. She told me I had only to take one class. It could be any class. I chose Latin. I’d never studied Latin, but I wanted to know, at last, where so many of our words come from. I had a romantic idea of what it would be like to study Latin—the Romance languages are, after all, descended from it—but it wasn’t romantic. It was a lot of confusion and memorization and attempting to decipher bizarre stories about soldiers marching around ancient lands. In spite of my best efforts, I got a B.

One thing I never forgot from my Latin class is that a language that is descended from another language is called a daughter language.

It was the beginning of the next era of my life, like this is of yours.

Years after I no longer lived in the state where my mother and I went to college , my first novel was published and I traveled to that state to give a reading. Just as my former awful boss had done in a different city mere weeks before, the professor who’d granted my mother a PhD at her memorial service read about me in the newspaper and came to the bookstore to hear me read. “All those years ago, who would have ever guessed we’d be here celebrating the publication of your novel?” she asked when we embraced.

“Not me,” I replied. “Not me.”

And it was true. I meant it as sincerely as I’d meant that I always would’ve guessed it when I’d been speaking to my boss. That both things could be true at once—my disbelief as well as my certainty—was the unification of the ancient and the future parts of me. It was everything I intended and yet still I was surprised by what I got.

I hope you will be surprised and knowing at once. I hope you’ll always have love. I hope you’ll have days of ease and a good sense of humor. I hope one of you really will bake me a pie (banana cream, please). I hope when people ask what you’re going to do with your English and/or creative writing degree you’ll say: Continue my bookish examination of the contradictions and complexities of human motivation and desire; or maybe just: Carry it with me, as I do everything that matters. And then smile very serenely until they say oh.

Yours,
Sugar"

Source.

2011-05-10T13:08:00.001-07:00

2011-05-07T12:01:00.001-07:00

2011-05-07T11:59:00.001-07:00

My sister and I in Ireland, March 2010.

2011-05-07T09:56:00.000-07:00

I leave for Europe in two weeks from today. Two weeks. Fourteen days and I'll be out of the USA for quite a while, hopefully enjoying myself half a world away.

I'm scared. Nervous to the point that I'm tempted to start biting my nails, just so I have someplace to take out my anxiety about this trip. For one, I'll be in school the majority of the time I'm there. I've been GOINGGOINGGOING throughout this semester, to the point of exhaustion, and the idea of another four weeks of school is making me second guess my decision to apply. But then I remind myself that four weeks really isn't all that long, and then once it's over I'll be back in Paris where I want to be 97% of the time. Then it's off to Germany, and then I'll be home just in time for my favorite holiday (I may have jetlag but it's all good!)

But the thing I'm most scared of is the lack of communication with people in the US that is bound to happen. Specifically the boyfriend. No daily texting sprees, no late night phone calls to wish each other good night. These are things that I've grown accustomed to, and cherish. I can barely hold it together when I go two weeks without seeing him, and even in that case he's only just a phone call away. To think that we'll officially be having the ultimate long distance relationship for a month and a half is making me nervous. Sick to my stomach nervous and once again, my nails may fall victim to my anxiety. I know that the trip is going to fly by, they always do, but it still doesn't change the fact that I will most likely be sending him messages until the second my plane takes off at Newark on May 21st.

And then at the same time, I almost kick myself for being THIS person. The girl who almost gave up Paris so that she could stay home and hang out with her boyfriend. I was never this girl. Ever. I was always the one who would sign up for adventures first; the one to encourage others to do the same. Even writing that makes me want to slap myself in the face and scream: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? He never asked me to stay home, in fact he encouraged me to apply for the program, but I was thisclose to not enrolling because I couldn't imagine life without speaking to him everyday. It's funny how things change when you're in a relationship...

I'm not afraid of being in a foreign country. I'm not afraid of not knowing anyone in the program that I'm going to. I'm not afraid of wearing one bagfull of clothes for six weeks. I'm not afraid of fending for myself. All of those things sound marvelous, like freedom. The thought of going is what is getting me through the last weeks of school, knowing that in just a few weeks I'll be walking the streets of Pau, France with some fresh fruit and a baguette sticking out of my bag and knowing that I'll be able to speak some French when I get home. I'm going to invest time into reading the classics, books I've always wanted to read, yet never had a chance to. I'm going to write about my adventures, hopefully in attempt to turn them into my Capstone project for school next semester. It'll be a summer of growth and it will prepare me for so much in life, starting with my trip to South Africa in January!

Everything in France seems so much bigger than the little life I'm living here, and yet all I can think about are the people I'm going to miss when I'm gone. Boo.

2011-05-04T09:50:00.001-07:00

2011-05-04T09:45:00.001-07:00

I'm having my first real reading tonight!

I submitted a piece to my school's lit journal and it was accepted...and tonight at 6:30 I'll be reading it in front of an audience!

I'm so excited!

2011-05-03T12:02:00.001-07:00

Age: 20 (and a half!)

Bed size: Full, Full, Full!

Chore you hate: doing the dishes...but thanks to eczema I'm usually able to get away with not doing them

Dogs: Murphy (a yorkie) and Daisy (my snugglemuffin...a maltese)

Essential start to your day: Check my email first thing...I always wake up crossing my fingers that class was cancelled

Favorite color: RED RED RED! But I do like black and white, and purple!

Gold or silver: No preference really.

Height: Shorty. (5'3)

Instruments: I played piano once upon a time.

Job title: Full time student, part time sales associate.

Kids: OY VEY.

Live: Moorpark, CA

Moms name: Debbie

Nickname: Al, Bee and my boyfriend's dad is currently calling me Allan.

Overnight hospital stays: Never, ever.

Pet peeve: You really want to get me started?

Quote from a movie: "It's all happening..." <--- Hello, senior quote!

Right or left handed: Right

Siblings: Younger sister, Kate

Time you wake up: Usually between 7:45 and 9...depends on the day.

Underwear: He he he!

Vegetables you dislike: I'm a veggie whore.

What makes you run late: GETTING DRESSED.

X-rays you've had done: Teeth and a finger.

Yummy food you make: I'm really an awful cook...but I can make some mean eggs.

Zoo animal: Elephants! Monkeys! Giraffes! Flamingos!

OBVIOUSLY I'M BORED.

2011-04-30T12:58:00.001-07:00

2011-04-27T08:35:00.000-07:00

Because I KNOW everyone wants to see it...!

My class schedule for next semester!

Engl 326: Major British and European Authors

Engl 430: Tradition and Transformation: Literature, History and Art of the 60s and 70s (!!!)

Univ 392: Journey Into the New South Africa

Engl 332: Teaching Dramatic Literature

Engl 463: Writing for the Stage

I'm actually crazy excited about these classes

(even though I have to take a Monday class for the first time in a year!)

Univ 392, especially. We'll be learning all about South Africa throughout the course of the semester and then as a class, will be traveling there at the beginning of January. I literally screamed and jumped up and down when I got the email telling me I had been accepted into it.

The timing of this schedule is nice too...nothing after 4:15!

Totally different from this year!

2011-04-26T09:47:00.001-07:00

I'm going to South Africa in January 2012.

2011-04-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow bloggers!

My baby sister, Katie, needs your help!

She has a chance to meet her celebrity crush and for anyone who has ever had a celebrity crush in their lives (come on, admit it...you know there's been one), you know how big of a deal this is.

Who is her crush, you might ask?

This guy:

A mister Darren Criss.

If you don't know who he is, you probably don't watch Glee.

Or you have never watched a Very Potter Musical (I haven't...so no big).

ANYWAYS...

She needs your help!

All you have to do (and really it's so simple) is make sure you are logged onto Facebook and click HERE.

Press "like".

The more votes, the better. The people in the top three videos get to work one-on-one with Darren Criss.

So pretty much, you'd be helping to make my sister's dream come true.

Thank you so much!!!

2011-04-17T16:21:00.001-07:00

2011-04-17T16:20:00.001-07:00

always.

2011-04-11T10:22:00.001-07:00

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

-Marilyn Monroe

2011-04-11T08:46:00.001-07:00

2011-04-09T09:02:00.001-07:00

2011-04-07T09:29:00.001-07:00

I finally made time and used a gift code that had been sitting in my email inbox from CSN Stores. I've been on the hunt for the perfect clutch for a little while now and I knew exactly what I wanted to use the money on.
The Naples Faux Leather Clutch comes in four colors (mustard, white, black and hot pink) and is a steal at $20.99. I picked the clutch in mustard because I was looking for a statement clutch that would pop out against a lot of colors. I love it so much that I'm tempted to order all the other colors so that I have a mini-collection of clutches.
It's the perfect size; just big enough to fit an iPhone, wallet, keys and a spare pair of flats! The only problem is that I'm not used to carrying clutches...so it's a bit hard getting used to (so not the bag's fault!)
I love the simplicity of the bag. The fact that the only hardware on it is the small silver toggle is very appealing to me. It also comes with a thin silver chain that you can connect to two hooks if you want to carry it over your shoulder. OPTIONS!!
Would I reccommend this bag? Absolutely.
Get one (or all four) for yourself HERE.

2011-03-18T20:54:00.001-07:00

"May you never steal, lie or cheat...but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows...and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life....and if you must cheat, then please cheat death, because I couldn't live a day without you."

2011-03-16T09:30:00.001-07:00

It's official...

I'll be spending a chunk of my summer in Pau, France where I will be studying French!

To be honest, I'm scared. Shaking in my boots scared.

There are a ton of reasons why, but I just have to keep telling myself something that someone told me a little while back:

"Sometimes, the things that scare us and the things that we do by ourselves are what make the biggest impact on our lives."

Now I just have to figure out what to pack! Thank God I've got a little while to figure this out. I'm thinking of doing a 30/30 challenge while I'm there!

I'll be leaving on May 21st, a day after my last day of the Channel Islands semester. Eek!

Any suggestions of what to pack??

2011-03-14T09:53:00.001-07:00

Friday is just around the corner.

Four days...and it will be three years of us being together.

Time really does fly, doesn't it?

Thanks to Facebook for the happy little reminder every time I log on.

Oh god. I'm such a romantic sap.

2011-03-04T11:43:00.001-08:00

Just a head's up...this is a VERY picture heavy post...!

And it's not even half of the pictures from my phone.
Eek.

My Aunt Freda celebrating her birthday at the San Diego Wild Animal Park.

Coronado.

Kate and I in the audience at a local production.

At a concert hosted by a radio station a few years back.

Alicia and I waiting for the Disneyland tram.

A group of us at Disneyland's Grad Night.None of us had graduated.

Celebrating the end of Prelim nights at Miss California.

My dad and I together the last night in Fresno for Miss California.

Kate, our Grandma and I together at Sprinkles in Beverly Hills.

Celebrating the 4th of July in Ventura.

Katie and our cousin Christopher.

Jill, Steph, Kim and I at the Ventura County Fair Parade.

Jill and I ready to go to the Miss Garden Grove pageant.

Photo/Video Shoot.

Aunt Freda. RIP.

Jess and I after a Bob Dylan concert.

The neighborhood men, including my dad.

Stuck in bed with swine flu.

After one of Katie's shows.

Poor Baby.

I run around Target in footie pajamas. It's shocking that I have a boyfriend.

Justine and I.

Boyfriend.

Prepping to go backstage after a Styx concert.

Kate and I. Not so fresh faced after the long flight home from Ireland.

Daisy, the day we brought her home.

Kate and I at Six Flags.

You see the most interesting people in Venice.

Trevor and I on the set of Dexter.

She graduated!

Jill and I after Miss Moorpark. I got first runner up!

Murph.

Daisy. Lounge lizard.

Working for Krystal Savanella Designs.

Boyfriend channeling his inner Baywatch.

Proof that you can still be young at heart.

The universe telling me something.

Sleepyheads.

Sorry there were so many pictures in one go...
I'll try and do a smaller one next time.
:)

2011-02-25T10:22:00.001-08:00

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2011-02-19T08:34:00.000-08:00

I feel like I've been neglecting this blog. I feel like I'm constantly at a loss for words and even though I know writing on here will try and encourage some sort of creativity, I can't bring myself to do it. I've been throwing myself in Sparkles and Stilettos, which excites me, but at the same time I feel as though it's so self-involved and that it gets boring for the readers considering it's all pictures of me and the outfits I wear out of the house.

I sat in my room and cried yesterday. I haven't done that in ages and it helped to kind of eliminate all of these pent up feelings that have been going through my head these past few weeks. I'm usually the kind of person who avoids crying at all costs (my sister calls me the "ice queen" because of this), but sometimes it really does help. I've realized that now.

I've been missing Ireland a great deal. A year ago today Katie and I were scurrying around, looking for suitable clothing to wear while we vacationed over there for ten days and now, all I get to do is think about how excited and nervous we were to be exploring a place that was totally new for both of us.

My passport is sadly sitting in it's new passport case in my jewelry box, unused. Hopefully, I'll be able to take it to France this summer, as I'm investigating a study abroad program in Pau where you go for five weeks and take an intensive course in French. On the weekends, you have the options to travel to Spain or to other parts of France and to bask in the glory that is European culture. I'm desperate to go, and at the same time, scared shitless. Last time I went to Europe for this amount of time, I had a friend by my side which made the whole adventure a lot less intimidating. I was talking to my manager at work yesterday who told me to go, even if I'm scared. She said that it's usually the things that scare us and the things that we do by ourselves that make the biggest impact on our lives. She's right, of course. She's always right. She's brilliant in that way.

I'm excited about school these days. I never used to be, I was always in and then out as quickly as I possibly could be. However, after meeting some amazing people I find that I want to spend as much time there as possible. The other day, we all went to a reading where our friend Johnny read, and then a group of us all went out for doughnuts afterwards. It's silly how something so simple can make you feel so complete. Now, if only I can get myself together and do all the reading I need to get done. And work on an article for the school paper, which I've joined. Sheesh.

Anywaysssss. I'm stuck in bed with a cold cold cold and I feel miserable. I swear there's a rock in my throat and my nose is leaking like a faucet, but it's warm in my bed and my pillows are comfortable, so I can't complain. Not to mention, I have LOST on Netflix which took up much of my time after my little melt down yesterday. Maybe I'll turn an episode on right after this.

I promise I'll write more.

2011-02-15T11:09:00.001-08:00

2011-02-15T08:35:00.000-08:00

I'm so, so, so beyond excited to get the chance to review another product for CSN Stores!

As previously mentioned when I reviewed one of their products back in November, CSN Stores have hundreds of websites available online. Those who prefer shopping over the internet can buy tons of products like a office desks, shoes, home decor, baby supplies, office and kitchen supplies and so much more. Their prices are great and you can't beat the quality of the thousands of items of merchandise that they offer.

Like last time, it's been difficult for me to decide what I want to review, since everything looks so good!

Just as a recap...in 2009, CSN Stores was ranked No. 61 of 500 on the Internet Retailer 500 by Internet Retailer magazine...not to mention that they are in the top 3 online US retailers of home and office goods.

Stay tuned for my upcoming review...I can't wait to show you what I pick out!

2011-02-06T13:43:00.000-08:00

Just some pictures that I came across...

Funny how it's the little things that make you the happiest.

2011-01-30T22:30:00.000-08:00

I found this piece that I had written for my creative writing class last year (already! can't believe it's been a year!):

Go ahead and read it if you're bored!

Enjoy!

It was an accident. No one goes out wanting fluorescent orange hair. We paid my tutor at the time a hefty sum of money to give me a pretty strawberry blonde hue a la Kate Hudson, but after two hours of sitting with a stinging scalp, we were horrified to find that I looked like a highlighter. And not one of the pretty colors either. Needless to say, we never called that tutor again after that night.

I was mortified. I refused to look at myself in the mirror. No sophomore should look like this, I thought. I cried and cried and begged my parents to let me stay home from school the next day. They refused, of course, and I walked into class the next morning expecting muffled laughs from all around the room. Much to my surprise, I got compliments and other people didn’t even notice. Thank God. I had a giant sigh of relief. However, I couldn’t get myself over the fact that I thought my hair glowed in the dark.

Over the next few weeks, my orange locks lost the obnoxious shine of freshly dyed hair, and began to look a little better, not natural, but better. My roots started growing in a bit and I decided that instead of living in fear of the hair on top of my head, I’d embrace it and rock the look as best as I could. I had to wait a certain period of time before I could go back to fix it, so I knew that instead of shying away from the atrocity on top of my head, I should stand tall and let my small amount of confidence take over. I tried to dress to compliment the ugly shade of orange and talked out more often to distract people from the mess on top of my head. I slowly became more comfortable with my clothing choices and gained more and more friends with everyday that passed.

Much to my surprise, Sean*, the boy I lusted after, finally started talking to me. He was a senior, tall, green-eyed and had a bad habit of partying a little to hard. He worked at the local Starbucks and I had been secretly in love with him since the first day of school. His long, brown hair would fall into his eyes and he’d blow it out of the way. He wore converses and blazers and smoked WAY too much weed.

In the beginning of the school year, he would talk to me only when he had to. He didn’t bother getting to know me. I was quiet, shy, intimidated by this older boy who I was hopelessly crazy about. With my newfound confidence, I started talking to him more. He started IMing me late at night. Eventually, he gave me his number one night when I went in for my coffee fix. I was over the moon. He complimented me, flirted with me, wrapped his arm around me in class followed by a cheesy pick-up line. I was on top of the world. He didn’t care what my hair color was; he just noticed that I was becoming more of myself, and allowing my true personality to shine through.

There was a party, my first in High School. I was excited, I wore a pink shirt under my favorite sweater. My friend had invited me, since the last person she took to a party pretended to be drunk and annoyed everyone there. She was instructed to bring someone bearable, so she took me. A compliment, I suppose? I had never been drunk and had never been around anything “bad”. I lied to my parents and told them I was spending the night at her house. What they didn’t know wouldn’t kill them.

I held my own at the party, with my friend gallivanting off with the boy she claimed to have a crush on. A college kid, a guy named Andy, came up to me and after talking to me for a little while, brought up my hair.

“I really like your hair…”, he said. I thought he was referring to my curls.

“Thanks”, I said with a smile. I had almost forgotten what color it was.

“Not many girls have the guts to pull off a color like that.” My stomach dropped. Oh, crap. “It’s really cool!” He asked me to take it out of my ponytail so he could look at it. “Bomb hair, girl.”

I was ecstatic. So the orange disaster on my head wasn’t as bad as I thought after all! Andy sat with me for a while, obviously into the conversation. He lost all my attention as soon as I saw Sean had walked into the room. There he was, surrounded by his friends, and he was watching me. I smiled at him and he smiled back, walking away from his croonies and setting himself in between myself and Andy.

I felt my pulse race as he leaned in, his lips practically touching my ear, as he whispered, “Come do a shot with me…” I declined of course, I wasn’t one for hard alcohol and I had an acting class the next day. No way was I going to risk going to that hung over, especially for the amount we were paying.

I shook my head and told him I’d go with him. His head lingered next to my ear. I could feel Andy on the other side of him, watching us closely. Sean got up, grabbed my hand and led me to the table, which was covered in every alcoholic beverage known to man. I was tempted to try vodka for the first time, but stood strong and said no when he kept on asking.

Slowly but surely, the boy of my dreams was drunk. He went upstairs to the music room and I hung out downstairs, afraid to venture up to see him. I hung out with a friend from class, Dean*, who taught me how to use a lighter. He made me sit on his lap while he demonstrated. He kept holding my hands, but I didn’t pay attention to the moves he was trying to make. I didn’t care what he was trying.

The Christmas tree was next to us and we almost set it on fire.We stopped playing with the lighter, and instead just sat there talking, his arms wrapped around my waist. Suddenly, music broke through the entire house. It was coming from upstairs and I knew who was making it. Dean motioned for me to go check it out. I did.

I walked up the stairs, slowly, nervously. I went into the room, decked out in every instrument known to man. Sean was standing there, shirtless, with a guitar strapped to his naked torso, trying his best to play like Hendrix. I stood there, leaning against the doorframe, watching his muscular body pulse with the chords that he was urging out of the guitar. I was hooked. Some others were in the room, playing with instruments, but I only had eyes for Sean. He motioned for me to approach him. I moved towards him slowly, scared to get too close.

He stopped playing and pulled me close to him with his hand, cementing our proximity by enclosing me between his body and the guitar. He taught me a chord, speaking slowly, drunkenly, into my ear. His hands were on top of mine, moving them to where they had to be, and he helped me create music that was amplified throughout the room. The others who had been playing instruments realized Sean wanted his privacy, and they all left, winking to us as they walked out of the room.

We were all alone. Sean was drunk and half-naked. I was nervous, 15, and had never been kissed. I was freaking out. Sean moved closer, I could feel his breath on my face. He closed his eyes and leaned in even closer. I didn’t know what to do. I was stuck there. I was screaming inside. He leaned close enough for there to be a kiss if we wanted, but I pulled back.

“No.” I said. He looked surprised. “Not here, not now. You’re drunk. I want you to remember it.” That and I didn’t want to waste my first kiss on a boy who would be puking out his innards in a matter of time.

“Allie, I swear, I’ll remember.” He tried to convince me. I was hearing none of it. He kept trying to kiss me, but I kept avoiding his puckered lips. The next thing I knew, he couldn’t stand up straight. I pulled the guitar from around our bodies, trying to steady it on the stand while trying to support the boy who was leaning on me to keep himself from falling. I was having trouble keeping him up, he was too heavy, dead-weight. A guy walked past the room and I hollered at him to get his attention. He saw my distress and came in the room, grabbing Sean’s other arm, and together we pulled him into the bathroom.

Sean was delirious, he couldn’t form words. He kept passing out, making me very thankful I didn’t have a sip to drink. We turned the shower on, stripped Sean to his boxers and put him under the stream of water to try and revive him. He held my hand and I held his.

Others came into the bathroom and I decided I had done enough and left. I didn’t want to see him like that. I went back downstairs, catching Dean’s eye. I joined him at the piano, where we played a few songs, and then made our way into the kitchen where the two of us spent the rest of the night eating applesauce, talking. My friend came and found me soon after, informing me that it was time to go. I said good-bye to all the new people I had met, hugging those I had known before, and getting numbers from others. We went back to her house where we crashed as soon as we hit the bed.

My hair wasn’t orange for much longer. I made an appointment a few weeks later and my hair stylist and I transformed me into a brunette. As much as I hated the coppery, orange color I had had, it dawned on me a few months later that it was what I needed. I needed a wake-up call, something to force me out of my shell. I blossomed and grew, turned into someone that I was proud to be. By being different, even if it was a mistake, the orange hair pulled out my confidence, allowing me to truly be myself for the first time in my life. I’ll never say it out loud, but I’m almost grateful that my tutor royally screwed up.

2011-01-30T22:09:00.001-08:00

2011-01-21T09:54:00.001-08:00

I'm so excited for this.
Currently reading the book and counting down the days until I get to see it in theaters.
April 22nd!

2011-01-18T10:17:00.001-08:00

I just want to surround myself with this song and listen to it ALL THE TIME, OMGZ.

It makes me wish I did ballet again, so I could choreograph a kick-ass pointe dance to it and show it off to everybody I know. They'd all pretend to be impressed but I'd be stoked.

Hmmm. I'm trying to think of intelligent updates on my life to write about, but I really can't think of that much.

Trevor and Mike both got accepted to Chapman University and they're transferring there for the Spring Semester. Trevor has officially said farewell to UCSB and is heading down to Orange County to get himself a major in theater and a minor in business. We all went to help move in a bunch of their stuff on Saturday.

He's not officially gone yet, though. School doesn't start for those guys until Jan. 31st. Ridic.

I'm excited because:

A...Kellen ALSO goes to Chapman so I'll be able to see him in his turf more often

B....The Guess by Marciano OUTLET is on the way to Orange County....DUN DUN DUN.

School starts for me in a week from today. In one week I'll be sitting through Intro to International Politics and Interdisciplinary Writing, reflecting on the days when I was on winter break and wishing I was still there. I guess now the countdown for summer vaca starts up. Wooo!

Other classes I'm taking?

-Lit Theory

-Major American Authors (Focusing on F. Scott Fitzgerald!!)

-Creative Non-Fiction Writing

I guess it's become REALLY obvious that I'm an English major.

My dad bought two cars in two weeks. A Barcelona red, 2010 Prius and a Salsa red, 2008 Volkswagon Beetle. We now have an entire car lot parked outside of my house. This brings our number to five. FIVE. How many families of four do you know with five cars? Not many? Me either. WE'RE CRAZY.

Okay. I'm going to go burn CD's for the Jetta now.

xo.

2011-01-14T09:31:00.000-08:00

So Amanda and I are driving 40 minutes to catch an 11:40 showing of Blue Valentine.

Normally, I wouldn't do this for just ANY movie.

But considering that Ryan Gosling is my love and has been since my freshman year in high school, I'm willing to make this gasoline sacrifice.

I'll be sure to tell you all what I think!

UPDATE:

I thought Blue Valentine was incredible.

Both of the leads gave undeniably fantastic performances and Ryan Gosling just proved to me why I love him so much. (He looked crazy hot at the GG too!)

Michelle Williams transformed into this woman who no longer loved her husband and her pain was your pain.

It's one of those movies where it doesn't really effect you until once you leave the theater. As soon as you have the time to really think and reflect on everything that happened in the movie, you start realized how much every second of it is connected to each other.

The beginning is connected to the end.

You see how things they used to do when they were in love, is done completely differently once that love is no longer there.

You see how changing yourself for a person, in order for them to love you, isn't always the best idea.

It was an incredible film. I don't think it will win any major awards at the Oscars this year (we have The Social Network, Black Swan and The King's Speech for that....) but I certainly do think it's one worth seeing.

I bet both R. Gosling and M. Williams will snatch up nominations for their performances.

They. Were. That. Good.

2011-01-11T01:33:00.001-08:00

2011-01-08T23:13:00.001-08:00

2011-01-08T22:41:00.001-08:00

2011-01-08T22:38:00.000-08:00

Now that the holidays are over, I'm desperate for summer.

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE.

Five months away.

That's it. Five.

And then it's May and it's summer and I can spend my days reading books on the beach in a cute bikini that I have FIVE months to find.

(Not to mention work on my bikini bod...)

But what is kind of creeping me out is the thought that this may be the last summer.

Because next year, I'll be a senior in college.

And then comes the rest of my life.

2011-01-08T22:25:00.001-08:00

I've been on a bit of a Dawson's Creek binge these last few nights.

(I bought Seasons 1 and 2 on a whim because they were so cheap on Amazon...)

As cheesy as the majority of the storylines are, the show makes me miss the summers I spent on the East coast when I was a kid.

Joey Potter's wardrobe embodies everything I had hoped to be when I was 13.

The shorts. Tops tied at the waist. The bikini tops underneath large button ups. Striped sweaters, oversized sweaters. The sneakers and rolled up jeans.

Can't lie, I'm kind of trying to figure out a way to pull off a Joey Potter outfit.

However, I cannot (CANNOT) get over James Van Der Beek's hair.

That...and his inability to cry on camera.

2011-01-05T11:59:00.001-08:00

GAP yellow high-waisted skirt, thrifted Calvin Klein denim jacket, GAP t-shirt, white converse sneakers [not pictured], Ray Ban Aviators, gifted silver hoop earrings

I've been living in this denim jacket. I bought it at my local thrift store and these days it's the first thing I turn to when I need something quick to throw on. It's so perfectly worn in! The skirt and the top were both Christmas presents from my mom. I'd been obsessing over this skirt for ages. I wound up getting it in both colors!

We were fortunate to spend a lovely couple of days at the lovely Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego right after Christmas. It was so relaxing and a wonderful way to spend time with many of my family members.

Sadly, it rained for part of our visit there, so we only got to really go to the beach once during our visit. The rest of the time we spent at Balboa park (visiting museums) and bike riding throughout the island. Not to mention we ate some pretty tasty eats while we were there.

I can't wait to go back! I'm hoping we go sometime in the late spring/early summer, so that we can enjoy some good weather. Rain at the Del is so depressing!

(PS: In these pictures I used my new portrait lens [50mm] that I got for Christmas! I'm obsessed with it!)

What did you all do for your holidays? Go anywhere special?

2011-01-05T10:57:00.001-08:00

2011-01-05T10:16:00.000-08:00

I know this is ridiculously late, but with the holidays and all my relatives coming to visit, I just couldn't find time to sit down and write my review! Remember when CSN asked me to do another review for them (like a month ago--eek!)?

But now the time has come!

I selected the Paul Patent Petite Hobo with Bow in Black.

I picked this hobo back mainly for its resemblance to Valentino's large black patent tote:

One of my old managers at work had been given this Valentino beauty as a birthday gift from her husband, and when I saw the CSN Murval version, I just couldn't help myself.

A lookalike of a $1195 for only $30? I'll take it!

The bag itself has gotten mixed reviews from my friends and family. Some of them really like it, others have made fun of it for looking like a "hefty" bag (coughcoughTrevorcough). It's really not for the faint of heart.

Personally, I like it. It looks different from any other bag I own and manages to stand out amongst them all. I'm normally not a patent "leather" person, so it was unusual for me to pick this material, but this bag is kind of helping me come around to it. My favorite part? It had rained for like a week straight here in Southern California, and this bag kept all of my belongings nice and dry. It's a raincoat!

It's pretty roomy on the inside, even though it's called a "petite" hobo. I manage to fit a great deal of stuff into this little bag, including: wallet, keys, various makeup, lotion/hand sanitizer, spare pair of flats, Canon Rebel. It's light and allows you to stuff it to your heart's content.

It has charm and provides a great twist on fashion for one of those days that you don't feel like getting all done up. It is light and easy to carry and is constantly getting commented on.

Would I recommend this bag to a friend? Definitely.

2011-01-05T10:12:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning to an email from a reader who had given me a cyber makeover.

I think it looks so cute! So Emma Watson...

I will never be able to cut off my hair this drastically, due to the massive amount of curls that come out of my head. I talked to my cousin about it on Christmas Eve (she's a hairstylist) and she said a pixie cut on me would be a no go...

Oh well. At least I can pretend that this picture of me is real and that I have super short, amazing red hair.

Thanks Rik!

2011-01-04T11:37:00.000-08:00

Look at me! Being a good little blogger and everything!

I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to really stick to my resolutions!

There was a massive power outage this morning. From what it seemed, half of the town was out of power. I woke up to no time glaring at me from my alarm clock, which was nice, but also kind of hard to process. In celebration of that, I'm wearing a watch on my wrist for the first time in YEARS. Kate got it for Christmas but is not too particularly fond of it, so I've stolen it for the time being.

I would take a picture of my outfit, but that would require my camera which my mother has taken over. I come down this morning and she's uploading all of my pictures off of it. Her excuse? "I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO WAIT FOR YOU TO DO IT!" Sooooo she's the one who is stuck with all of my pictures from New Year's. Oh well.

Today, I'm going to the Topanga mall. I've got a gift card to White House/Black Market that is kind of burning a hole in my pocket, especially considering that I saw online that it is an additional 30% off sale (my favorite!). I also want to stop at Guess and buy a pair of black pumps. I need a good pair that I can walk in for an entire work shift!

Okaaaaaay. My ride is here. I'll be sure to post more later.

Ta ta ta!

2011-01-04T01:21:00.000-08:00

2011-01-04T01:01:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone!

2011.

It feels weird to type...and even weirder to say out loud. I had just started getting used to 2010! Is it just me, or did the end of last year just fly by? The fact that the holidays are already over is just astounding to me.

I know this is late, considering we're already 3 (wait...4 now?) days into the new year. My Aunt and cousin Emma left to go back to New Jersey tonight, after spending a little more than a week with us here. We were all able to spend a glorious four days together in San Diego at the Hotel Del (my favorite place). Now, it's back to normal and back to real life.

We rang in the new year with a little shindig at my house. A bunch of friends, many of whom I hadn't seen in a while, came over and we had a good time counting down the seconds until the clock struck midnight. Trevor was my midnight kiss for a third year in a row, so I'm hoping that's a good sign for the rest of the year :)

NOW FOR THE FUN PART OF THIS POST!

New Year's Resolutions. We all make them and we all try our best to maintain them for at least two weeks. Usually, I cop out and tell myself to just make my resolution "No Regrets", but this year, I actually wanted to create goals for myself to try and accomplish.

Soooooooo, without further ado, my list!! :::

Go to the gym AT LEAST three times a week. I was going regularly when I was prepping for Miss California, but now that there's no pageant in the foreseeable future, I haven't been in quite some time. It's really embarrassing. So since school doesn't start until the early/mid afternoon this semester, there is really NO excuse for me not to make time to dedicate to getting back into my "pageant girl" state. Anyone want to go with me?
Try and blog on a more regular basis. I've been neglecting my blogs this past year. School has taken over my life and I haven't been able to take the time out and blog, which has been a favorite pastime of mine. I'm planning on posting on this blog more regularly, as well as posting outfit pictures more regularly on Sparkles and Stilettos. Two a week? That sounds reasonable!
Take more pictures. Watch more classic movies. Read at least two books (of my choice) a month.
Do something different with my hair. I'm sick of how it looks at the moment and know I want a change.
Save money!!! I'm planning on applying for a summer school program in Europe this summer, so I want to start saving! I'm usually the worst about this one, and I'm assuming it will be the hardest to stay true to, but I'm really going to make an effort to spend way less money on clothes.
Make more of an effort to visit friends at school. I still have yet to visit Justine in San Diego. THIS IS GOING TO CHANGE!

This all being said, I'm really excited for 2011. I'm always excited for the new year. The thought of a fresh start is so exhilarating and makes me think that so many things are possible, as lame as it sounds.

SO happy new year, to each of you who are reading this silly post with my (hopefully not out of reach) goals for 2011. I'd love to hear each of yours! Now I will go back to watching Pretty Woman, where I am seriously lusting over Julia Roberts' hair color. Hmm. Once again, I'm tempted to go red. Maybe 2011 is the year of the ginger!?

What do you think??

2010-12-11T10:20:00.000-08:00

I've been itching to do something different to my hair.

I feel like my hair is in a rut, since it's looked the same for such a long amount of time, and it desperately needs a change.

Here are the two looks I'm contemplating:

Aburn and long a la Kate Walsh:

Pixie Cut (Super influenced by Carey Mulligan, Emma Watson, Michelle Williams, Keira Knightly and pretty much every other glamazon in Hollywood right now):

What does everyone think?

Trevor is surprisingly enthusiastic about the idea of me chopping off all my hair. And a lot of the things I've read online about girls chopping all of their hair off make it sound even more appealing. I'm not afraid to chop it, it's just hair, but I am hesitant about the growing out process. I realize it'll take forever and my hair will look less than ideal for a pretty long amount of time.

The red is something I've been debating over for a while. With that, it's WAY less drastic since I'll be able to dye it back to brown if I really hate it. And I just love how sophisticated that dark aburn color makes people look.

Hmmmm.

2010-12-08T14:13:00.000-08:00

Creepy parking enforcement...doing whatever they can to make a buck.

I tried to dispute it. Let's see what happens.

2010-12-06T18:09:00.001-08:00

2010-12-06T18:05:00.000-08:00

2010-12-06T18:01:00.001-08:00

When I discovered that I'd be going to New York in the Fall, I knew I would need to bring with me a coat of some sort to keep me warm in the East Coast weather.

I opted to bring with me the Wool Blazer Coat from Krystal Savanella Designs and I was very glad I did!!!

This was the perfect coat to bring with me since the weather was brisk enough for a coat, but not cold enough for a down jacket. It looks great with jeans and with dresses and the 100% wool material was able to keep me warm enough while I spent my nights in the City.

I love the fact that the lining of the coat was a bright pink, as it made the coat pop in the grey of New York. There are plenty of pockets, so you'll never run out of a place to put things. The buttons are vintage, with an adorable detail of little anchors!

The collar is HUGE which I love since it makes the coat seem more fashion forward and if you're looking for a great tailored look, this is the blazer for you.

Outfit:

Jeans, GAP Cropped Skinnies.
Cream Blouse, Juicy Couture.
Boots, bought in Europe.
Necklace, bought at a Greek festival in Camarillo.
Scarf, flea market from New Jersey.

2010-12-06T17:46:00.000-08:00

When I was in New York back in October, I brought along some items from the Fall 2010 line for Krystal Savanella Designs.

For an afternoon in the city, I decided to wear the 1/2 Button Front Top as it was both super comfortable for a cool day AND fashionable (something that doesn't happen all too often).

What I love most about this top is its versatility. It can be dressed down (as seen here) or dressed up with a sexy pair of jeans and a great pair of pumps.

The bright and chunky plaid pattern was designed by Krystal Savanella herself, so you won't see this print anywhere BUT the Savanella website. It is made of 100% silk, which makes it super soft and it's oversized look makes it look as though you're fabulously slouchy.

Only downside is that because of the fabric, it wrinkles easily. I had to iron it before I wore it and even then, the wrinkles didn't stay away for too long.

The upside is that because of the design, the wrinkles are barely noticeable.

The shirt retails at $115.00, but right now USTrendy is having a sale, so you can get it at a reduced price!

Get yours HERE.

Outfit:

Leggings, Guess by Marciano.
Faux Leather Jacket, Urban Outfitters.
Scarf, Guess.
Boots, Chinese Laundry bought at Famous Footwear.
Necklace, Chico's.
Tank, Love Culture.

2010-11-29T09:43:00.000-08:00

I'm so, so, so beyond excited to get the chance to review another product for CSN Stores!

As previously mentioned when I reviewed one of their products back in July, CSN Stores have hundreds of websites available online. Those who prefer shopping over the internet can buy tons of products like a bathroom shelving, shoes, home decor, baby supplies, office and kitchen supplies and so much more. Their prices are great and you can't beat the quality of the thousands of items of merchandise that they offer.

Like last time, it's been difficult for me to decide what I want to review, since everything looks so good!

Stay tuned for my upcoming review...I can't wait to show you what I pick out!

2010-11-29T09:40:00.002-08:00

2010-11-29T09:40:00.001-08:00

2010-11-25T08:53:00.001-08:00

2010-11-25T08:51:00.001-08:00

Zara is KILLING it with their new evening collection.

I'm not lying when I say I literally would love to own every single piece of it.

Check some of the pieces out below:

Ulgh. So good. Zara.

2010-11-07T09:31:00.000-08:00

So in love with this shoot.

Ashley Olsen is a goddess.

2010-10-16T17:05:00.000-07:00

So my 20th birthday has come and gone! I had school till 3, then I treated myself to a Starbucks and then we went out to dinner with Kellen and the Shor's to The Cheesecake Factory!

It was a nice birthday, quiet, but nice.

What made it the best was that I was able to celebrate it with a lot of my favorite people.

Now the countdown begins for the epic Vegas weekend next year!

Yesterday after working at Krystal's where I learned to sew, Trevor spoiled me rotten. We went to the mall where he bought me a drop dead gorgeous pair of heels from Nordstrom and then we drove to Hollywood where he had made reservations for this really cool restaurant. After dinner, we went and saw Red, which was really good! The whole day made me appreciate how much he does for me and gahhh I love him so much. :)

Today is lazy. I slept in for the first time in AGES and then wasted the morning eating pop tarts and leftovers and watched stuff on the new AppleTV thing my dad bought. Much more advanced than the Roku box. Then I went over to the Goodwill because my birthday money was burning a hole in my pocket (bad, I know...feeding the beast). Now I'm waiting for Trevor to come back (again) from Santa Barbara and passing the time by watching Grey's and writing on here.

Tomorrow, my parents are going down to San Diego to clean out my Aunt's apartment. I've got work at 3, so I can't go with them :(

2010-10-10T12:44:00.001-07:00

So for as long as I can remember, my dad has always called my Aunt Freda on Sundays at 10am. It didn't matter where in the country he was, he would always call. Oftentimes, I'd wake up to his voice coming from the kitchen, saying "Good Morning, Aunt Freda!"

With her passing away on Thurday, this tradition has finally come to an end. However, when I went down for breakfast this morning he said:

"Since it's Sunday, 10.10.10, I'm going to call Aunt Freda one last time at 10am and let the phone ring ten times. This will be the last Sunday I'll ever call."

He called, let it ring ten times, and then hung up the phone. For some reason, I found it to be more sad than I had expected it to be. When my dad explained what he did to my mom, she started crying. It was appropriate.

I know it sounds silly, but this kind of feels like the official end to my childhood.

2010-10-10T09:51:00.000-07:00

10.10.10

Brings me back to 9.9.99, when I was sitting at my kitchen table eating breakfast before school (like 5th grade) and thinking how cool it was that the numbers of the date were all the same.

It's kind of bugging me though how everyone, EVERYONE, is getting married today.

----------------------

I was supposed to go visit Trevor tonight after work, but he told me it's not worth it since I won't be there for very long. I'm still crossing my fingers that I'll get to see him on Thursday!

Krystal Savanella Designs had a fashion show on Friday night, and although I wasn't able to be there, the pictures I've seen make it look as though it went really well. Special thanks to Mike Regan for going and taking pictures that I can use on Krystal Savanella blog! The ones I've seen so far look GREAT!

Katie came home for the weekend and it was nice to have her back two weeks in a row. Currently, she and my mom are at the supermarket and my dad just made breakfast. I think she's heading out around 11.

Justine came home for the weekend too! Yesterday, the three of us went to see Life As We Know It (with my darling Josh Duhamel) and then roamed the mall for a little while. We met up with my family at Maria's where we ate dinner and then we all rushed off to the High Street Theater to help volunteer for their showing of Evita.

Breakfast time!

Hope you're all enjoying 10.10.10!

And if you're getting married today, congrats! Meh.

2010-10-09T09:38:00.000-07:00

Dear White iPhone 4,

You give me a severe case of the "wants".

Love, Allie

2010-10-09T09:28:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep past 9am.

For school, I'm usually awake by 7:30, 7:45.

I'm usually up and going on days I don't set my alarm, around 8:20-8:30ish.

However, this morning, I thought I was breaking this habit by attempting to sleep in.

Of course, I wake up to my dad poking me on the nose.

I look at the clock, 8:59.

Boo.

2010-10-08T16:04:00.001-07:00

I'm so beyond excited for this.

Ryan Gosling is and always will be my #1 celebrity love.

Sigh.

2010-10-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

This is made even funnier by the fact that we saw this play over the summer.
I would've been so stoked if Ellen had chosen our performance to make an appearance in.

2010-10-08T10:52:00.001-07:00

So Trevor told me last night that in his One Act for this quarter, he's got a kissing scene.

Weird. Hmm. I'm not freaking out about it since it's just a performance and as Trevor said, "It's my character, not me!" But it's still going to be weird sitting in the audience, watching him kiss another girl.

I'm searching for models for a fashion show tonight in Ventura. ANYONE INTERESTED? If you are, shoot me an email and I can get you in the information